Family. Isn’t this where all of our ‘stuff’ comes from?
Our environment, the way we were conditioned during childhood and adolescence? On the spiritual path as we recognize our family conditionings we are faced with the ultimate spiritual transformational gateway: Forgiveness.
There are several stages to growth and development. The following is generic yet can be seen as one of these processes for someone who embarks upon their spiritual path, from the perspective of Awareness.
Blame: Our external world is happening to us. We suffer This is the usual perspective of how we first encounter life
We Create Our Reality (known as the first step on the Spiritual Path) We recognize everything external is a reflection of our inner world
Recognising that we are a byproduct of our Environment As we begin Healing we recognise that the majority of our Insecurities stem from our upbringing (childhood – adolescence). We heal our core patterns, beliefs from these times for current day transformation
Dark Side – Repressed Negative Emotions come to the Light. Blame: We return to our Blame. Here the focus is on our healing with our parents, friends, ex’s, environment. This is an important aspect of the healing process as it allows for stored anger and resentment to truly release – it is there whether we deny it or not. However the stored energy is not meant to be directed at these individuals.
Acceptance (Forgiveness) Responsibility. We understand we have a Light & Dark and both are valid and important. We recognise we have created our life for known and unknown reasons – all serving the Self and Whole. Healing, Transmuting the Inner Child with the Higher Self
In spiritual development there is a tendency to become stuck within number 4 for a variety of reasons. Firstly there may be a denial of even having ‘dark’ emotions because we are so positive orientated (this is known as Spiritual Bypassing).
Secondly we can become so busy clearing core beliefs and be unaware of a core belief even beyond all the ones that emerged from our environment.
This core belief is the one that states we are not responsible for what happens to us.This is a tremendously strong belief that we all have in various strengths. In a physical world, it is of course natural for the ego to believe this.
We literally see things happen to us.
We are shaped by our environment and all of the beliefs, patterns we have do indeed stem from our upbringing. Why on earth would we want to take responsibility for other peoples’ actions towards us?
What happens is that in our spiritual development we can have an unknown belief stating that if it weren’t for our parents, our environment, we would have been different, dare we say it, we would have been perfect.
If we had a ‘better’ environment we would turn out emotionally, mentally, physically the picture of Health. This is the depth of where number 4 takes us. The Dark Side is incredibly seductive. And uses layers upon layers of beliefs to confuse even ourselves what we are truly feeling.
Yes our upbringing certainly moulds us – yet we need to shift our focus to the higher perspective here if we ever want healing & release – and to understand how the greater reality works. We so often get stuck at this state that we are unable to continue our development – and we hold to account those who brought us up.
We have to recognize one powerful, if not very challenging concept: If we are to take full responsibility of our reality, we have to take responsibility not for what happened to us, but how we reacted to all that happened to us.
This is where Self (Soul) Responsibility comes in and it is the key to true Self Empowerment and Liberation.
The Limitations of Blame
A quick reminder. By holding blame, resentment and anger towards individuals in our lives for what they have done to us, creates a cycle where:
Others have power over us = we are not responsible for our reality, empowering victim consciousness within ourselves
Preventing others’ growth: We continually empower the situation within the one we are blaming, preventing them from the gift of freedom and growth they deserve
Endless Cycle: By empowering the situation with the one we are blaming, we lock ourselves into the dynamic further
Manifesting based on our Beliefs: We always manifest based on our beliefs of the world. Blame and resentment blocks our heart and only manifests more of the same.
It is so important on this path, for ourselves, for all others that we learn to forgive.
However Forgiveness is often seen as an Action – whereas it is the byproduct within a deep healing process of acceptance
Forgiveness from a different perspective
We have been taught traditionally that forgiveness is an action. And when we reach that point of awareness, we tend to reach out to family members, friends and begin forgiving them for what they have done to us.
From a paradigm shifting level, this is astounding, for this hasn’t happened to such an extent on this planet before.
From a unity consciousness level, this can still be a polarized perspective of reality. For what we often initially are saying is “I forgive you for what you have done to me”.
The intention behind this is still one of blame whether we are conscious of it or not. The ego’s desire is of course some kind of recognition from the other, whether it be guilt or an apology. This isn’t the true depth of healing we need, it is a satiation of the ego in that moment.
Forgiveness isn’t an action, it is the byproduct of our process of Acceptance & Communication. Of bringing Light into our Dark.
When we truly integrate acceptance into our lives, we begin to accept everything about who we are. We also begin to realize that this means everything we have been as well – meaning everything interconnected with creating who we are.
How we can accept ourselves yet deny the people around us who moulded us into this person?
This is a paradox and one that the soul and ego are in conflict around.
The key is to allow the soul to work with the ego, in harmony. In other words, integrating the higher philosophies of unconditional love, which centre around Acceptance.
Whatever experience we have had in our lives has created the personality we have today. This is no accident. We have designed it to be this way. To internally blame those around us only perpetuates our incarceration with our turbulent emotions and limiting beliefs.
Passive aggressiveness is strife within spiritual circles as we desperately want to be ‘spiritual’ yet hold deep resentment for how we have been treated, or are being treated as our current scenarios trigger deepset insecurities. Transference and projection are a common occurrence as we are truly seeking something to validate our deepest core belief – that we are not responsible for what happened to us. There are certainly ways to Release before Acceptance (See further down).
On the other hand our resentments can be so strong that we are paralysed within our own pain & caged from manifesting expansive limitless possibilities – which you always deserve.Soul Responsibility
If we truly want to let go – we must learn to accept our reality, and everything that has happened until this moment, as a direct product of our Creation. Either from this life or before it. And here we begin to learn about Un-identifying with our life
We have to access that deepest core belief of responsibility over our reality. The Greater Picture. The Overall path of your Soul. This is the most liberating thing we can ever embrace. For to own our reality recognizes that we can look at it all with love, and ultimately as we do this, we are really looking at ourselves with love. For reality is reflected from the aspects within.
STEPS TO TAKE FOR FORGIVENESS
Be open to Forgive all. Write a list of all the people in your life you have resentment towards. How many? Who are they? Look at what you still carry in your heart….This affects you the most. And will dictate what comes in and out of your life through reflective growth. And begin the process
1) Seek to RELEASE your emotions in a non-directive way. In other words, through Exercise, Cathartic Release, Writing (of all upset emotions, thoughts for release), Writing letters to people who have upset you (yet not sending them), Crying, Shouting, Sharing. There are many ways available where they are not directed at others. Allow yourself to be heard.
2) Then seek to COMMUNICATE. It is important to find way stop communicate authentically and non-directionally towards others about what you have felt in your life and why. This is critical to Self healing. And it additionally helps the other to find how their actions or inactions have had an effect on another. Again, the key here is not to blame. Its to own…”This experience brought this up in me…”
If the other is not ready to hear this or there are not around in your reality – then a letter is just as effective. Write that letter and express your real feelings. Allow yourself to be heard.
3) Begin to work on ACCEPTANCE. See the Purpose of your life. Cultivate faith for the reasons, unknown for why you may have experienced what you did. How could it possibly benefit your growth – int terms of Compassion, assisting others? Begin to un-identify with your life on such a personal level. Begin more and more practices to move into Soul Awareness – Higher Self meditations; shifting your focus and awareness to a higher state of being
4) Allow FORGIVENESS to work its magic, out of your control.
Forgiveness is a River. Allow it to flow in its own direction, making you with it – slowly, gently. Yet allow yourself to flow with it. Being guided by its deep healing energies of Compassion and love. Taking you on a journey to freedom. Watch it happen as you allow it into your life. Let go of your stories – to create new ones for you. It is always about you rather than anyone else. It is about Your Freedom. Your Future. Where You want to go.
5) Listen to the Forgiveness Prayer: https://soundcloud.com/vazsriharan/prayer-of-forgiveness
Be open to Forgive. This will allow you to be open to start to truly EMPOWER yourself as you tap into the eternal aspect of yourself that chose to be here, chose your life direction and path and did so explicitly because of the treasures of wisdom, compassion, love to be gained from all these experiences to help not just yourself but the whole of Creation.
Free Yourself, Love Yourself ♥
Vaz Sriharan 